I really wish there was magic in the world. I would do anything for there to be magic that could make her, make everything all right again.



Nurse-kun !!hPl7vWPKR+W is a registered male nurse who posted to 4chan when his boring everyday life in a nursing home was interrupted by the arrival of a 7-year-old girl. At first he merely thought this an interesting thing to tell Anonymous about, but they pressed him to help her out... The story starts out pretty rough, but it does become something beautiful.

During the course of this story, the magic of the story somehow enchanted the /b/tards who called themselves [[Anonymous]]. The people famous for laughing at the holocaust pressed Nurse-kun to adopt, directly made the little girl laugh (no kidding), and worked tirelessly to search for Nurse-kun when he disappeared.

His first post on [[4chan]]'s /b/ appeared on the 17th of December, 2006, and had been updated regularly thereafter until June 2nd of 2007, when the posting stopped abruptly.

This story, along with [[Blindmute Loli]], were considered one of 4chan's greatest, perhaps equal to that of [[Densha Otoko]] of [[2channel]], a story which became part of popular culture in Japan.

The threads were documented in real time on [[Wikichan]], where it was dubbed "Damaged Goods". However after a server crash, all of the fanart was lost and the story was almost lost forever. Thankfully, [[Shii]] managed to save the entire thing beforehand.

A remastering project has begun to add the replies and drama from Anonymous into the story, so it would read more like [[Densha Otoko]].


There are 23 chapters/threads in this story. Click the link below to start reading.

[[Damaged Goods Chapters]]



His /b/ threads have become 4chan legend. The two or three hundred replies his posts receive fall into roughly one of seven categories:

  1. I don't [[Habeeb it]]!
  2. You are a sick, [[sick fuck]].
  3. Your story warms my heart because I didn't notice that you are a pedophile.
  4. Your story warms my heart because I am a [[Pedophile]].
  6. ???
  7. PROFIT!

Finding Nurse-Kun

After the last chapter, Nurse-kun wasn't heard from on 4chan for well over a year, leaving many of his fans hanging and the story unfinished.

Why didn't Nurse-kun update anymore? Some say that something happened during the friend code swap, or that an anon found Nurse-kun and creeped him out. Others say that he died in a car crash. Maybe he just forgot, or had no time.

Gravely worried that he could have died or been V&, Anonymous attempted to find him anyway, and on the last text thread he made, they discussed to find out the truth. The results are saved in the sections below. Since 4chan text threads are never deleted, that thread spans 4 years of replies, so check it out if you're interested.

[[Shii]] thinks he was most likely afraid of being stalked by /b/. It probably wouldn't look good on the adoption papers for him to be associated with weirdos from the Internet and pooper jokes. In terms of how notoriously creepy 4chan got later on in 2008, it was probably a good move...

A Challenge to Nurse-kun

On December 14, 2007, Shii received an anonymous tip from a professional statistician who was convinced Nurse-kun's story was fake. In the United States, car accidents are tabulated in a national database called the [[Fatality Analysis Reporting System|http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/Main/index.aspx]] (FARS). You can go to the FARS database yourself and query their results for 2006 and 2005. Very few children were extracted from cars. The guy claimed he couldn't find anyone matching Nurse-kun's description at all. Use the database yourself and see if you can determine Nurse-kun's home state.

Comment by C. Reed: (regarding case 54-188: the mother did not die) "Man and toddler die in crash; 5-year old child injured" ... Anyway, if the story was true, there would be news reports about it somewhere given that local news will report on every fatal car wreck.

And indeed, it was.

Nurse-kun in DC

Comment by J. Stone: I believe I have found out the location of nurse-kun and ampu-tan I am 90% sure that they are located somewhere around Washington DC.

For the first outing in chapter 16 they went to the Kennedy Center for Performing arts (Which in 1992 was renovated to be more handicapped accessible) The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum I am not that sure about the library though. Next in chapter 19 for the hockey game they went to the Version center which hosts the Washington Capitols. And finally in chapter 21 when they went on their walk it was at the Tidal Basin and or West Potomac Park which as Nurse-kun stated is usually packed with people watching the cherry blossoms bloom.

(Finally) The Ending

In late September of 2008 he showed up suddenly in /tg/ in a thread about Warhammer, where he simply stated:

Okay, okay, fine. Summary.

She's doing fine, I'm doing fine, we're doing fine together, in a new place, which we're (well, I'm) renting, her education and various therapies are going quite well.

My father died, my family and I have been dealing with it as best we can, my mom loves her, she likes my mom, and various other members of the family to varying degrees.

I've been working part-time at a new job, and that's going pretty well. She enjoys Avatar, Dawn of War, my Muppet Show DVDs, and we play a mean dual-game of the touhous.

Ze end. Back to discussion of OP's quandry. - Nurse-Kun

The link was reposted on the [[text board|http://dis.4chan.org/read/games/1180821777/744-864]] to offer some closure, and anons are still expressing their best wishes there to this day.


See [[Damaged Goods Characters]].


See [[Damaged Goods Trivia]].

Fanart and other stuff

(there was a lot of cool pictures that Anonymous drew, but the majority were lost when Wikichan went down. A few were saved by [[Shii]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], but half of that was lost when Encyclopedia Dramatica itself was deleted.)

All pictures have now been discovered in their original resolution from Sarafan's archive, and will be posted as time permits.

Thread Archives

These are direct html files of the original threads as they looked like on 4chan, as posted to [[Wikichan]]. All of these would have been lost due to Rapidshare's deletion policy, if not for a previously undiscovered upload that [[Sarafan]] made. We used these to add Anonymous's replies to Nurse-kun threads, as the ones on Wikichan and Shii's site only contained the story.